advice on bonding with puppy

Discussion in 'Dog Chat' started by Kate, Jan 7, 2015.

  1. Kate

    Kate New Member

    Jan 7, 2015
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    I got a rescue puppy a couple of months ago. I was worried about bonding with her after losing my last dog a year and a half ago (she was 16 and my little soul mate!). But, I've fallen in love with this sweet little girl, too. However, she prefers my boyfriend. I had to talk him into getting the dog, I do almost all of the feeding and most of the walking. I take care of all the vet appointments and buying supplies. He is, however, a little more playful with her than I am (rougher and sillier!). I play with her as well, but he almost "acts like a puppy" with her. I feel crazy, but I'm very emotional over this. She cuddles with him at night, and hardly notices me sometimes. She's happy when I get home, but she's happy to see anyone who walks in the door. It's my boyfriend she loves, and I feel slighted. Is that odd? And what do I do about it? Maybe it's just a chemistry thing and there's nothing I can do. I want her to be bonded to both of us, and I'm glad that she loves him, but sometimes I feel invisible despite being the main caretaker and the one who chose her. I think part of it is that I'm more restrictive with her, and he lets her "break the rules". He feeds her food from the table that I wouldn't usually give her (although I've started giving her benign things), and he lets her bite more during play than I think we should be training her to do (so, I dissuade this, and he lets it happen). When I go to cuddle with her and she moves away and goes to him, it hurts... She's 5 months old now. Thoughts??
    Kate, Jan 7, 2015
  2. Kate

    claudine Well-Known Member

    Aug 16, 2012
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    I'm in a similar situation. My little dog chose my dad. He loves him more than anything. When my father is near, Homer ignores me completely;) They go for long walks together and always sit on the same chair.
    To be honest, I don't feel jealous. I know that Homer loves me too.
    Try not to worry. I'm sure you're very important to your puppy.
    claudine, Jan 8, 2015
  3. Kate

    Winterybella Well-Known Member

    Oct 23, 2014
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    West Indies
    Oh dear Kate. I feel your pain. My son feels the same way as he says I steal the love from him. Truthfully, he brings the pets home but sadly he does not spend as much time with them as I do. Hence I think that's why they gravitate to me more. I wish I knew how to provide you with the perfect solution to your problem but I don't.
    Some of the things your boyfriend might be allowing might be part of the reason the dog seems to be clinging more to him. He might actually be "stealing the love" from without intending or realizing it.

    Dogs can be so intelligent. They may even be sensing your unhappiness in the situation and interpreting it as something else. Then to your point, there might be some chemistry thing going on with the dog and your boyfriend that doesn't exist with you. I know it might be tough but continue to be your normal sweet self and like Claudine said I am sure the dog loves you. In time things might change.
    Winterybella, Jan 19, 2015
  4. Kate

    Susanv New Member

    Jan 19, 2015
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    What do you feel about dogs that are not animals in the actual sense of the word? Do human dogs have cache in this forum? If so, I have plenty of dog stories to share. In fact I am inundated with them. I believe that dogs (human that is) are those with a real sense of entitlement, ones who take and never give. My advice to every dog lover is stay away from human dogs as much as possible!!
    Susanv, Jan 19, 2015
  5. Kate

    Trellum Well-Known Member

    Sep 24, 2013
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    This kinda remind me of the little girl who prefers daddy because he lets her do whatever she wants, even tho mommy takes good care of both. I think she likes him more, in art, because of the playing and also for the fact he feeds her things she isn't supposed to eat. Dogs are really that simple. They live in the present, she doesn't even know who brings the supplies or think ''oh, she takes me to the vet, how nice''.

    I'm afraid to say that most dogs chose someone in the household, rarely two. It sounds like she has already chosen your boyfriend. I'm not sure you can do much about it.
    Trellum, Feb 2, 2015
  6. Kate

    IcyBC Well-Known Member

    Jul 11, 2015
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    I think it is normal that you feel that way! I am the main caregiver for our dog Capone too, but whenever he sees my son, he prefers to be with him. I am ok with it, it kinds of giving me a break from having a dog constantly.

    I believe your dog loves you just as much, and he might views you as the pack leader, whereas your boyfriend is his playmate.
    IcyBC, Jul 29, 2015
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